My adoring public-

Bongiorno ragazzi e ragazze,

I... am a terrible blogger.

But that's alright, because I never said I would be good at it. I do strive to be consistent in my endeavors, and as of late that has meant neglecting my blog in pursuit of more important things, such as life... and school.

Both of which I have been very active in.

So active in fact, I have sprained my ankle from jumping on a trampoline and am recovering. Of course, the purpose of me jumping on the trampoline was to reach a second story window to a burning apartment and save the baby that was on fire, but I am no hero.

On the plus side, since I am already an established clumsy dunce, I have my own pair of crutches that I've saved from previous accidents so I don't have to rent them.

Down side, crutches don't do favors for your armpits and hands, and I forgot that until yesterday after gimping around campus. Dang those bad boys can hurt, and icy sidewalks are not their friend, neither are stairs.

So recap, crutches are not friends to:

• your hands
• your armpits
• icy sidewalks
• stairs
• escalators
• hills
• buses
• cramped spaces
• leg that isn't crippled
• overall well-being
• Zombie defense
• slugs

But they are great conversation starters, particularly with creepy people on public transit so I guess that makes me a winner.

Just a casual day in the house, very quiet especially for a Thursday in comparison to the last week's break-neck pace of finals. I'm here with my coffee and computer, and by all illusions it seems like I'm somewhere else in time and place, it looks like November outside when it should be June.
Maybe it is just because it is very overcast and sprinkling, but I think this last school year has really thrown me off. The only part of it that seemed like it has existed has been the beginning of winter, and everything else comes back as a blur.
Maybe it is because I am getting older and experiencing what my elders have described as an acceleration of time, because half a year just disappeared and I feel like I missed the party.
But I'm not sure it's all that. Maybe it's been a time just not worth dwelling on, or it might be easier not dwelling on it.
Or perhaps Spring is just a fleeting thing, and I don't appreciate it. Spring awakens bugs, allergies, heat, rain, thunder, fire, and one can only expect what is unexpected. Maybe I just haven't woken up yet.
Now that I have drowned you in all of this philosophical talk, I think it is necessary to hear from a true professional:


Tropic Thunder quote of the day:
"Beds give me nightmares."

Hello All,
I am a failure at this blogging thing already and I've barely started. AH well...since I haven't posted in about half a month, I'll try to make this special, although it probably won't be since forced awesomeness just isn't much to write home about. So...
maybe I'll just update you on the life and times of me. Coolest website ever to play in the background while you're online has to be hands down:
www.pandora.com
You wouldn't know it but I'm listening to it right now, and I tell you it be great. Essentially what it does is base a radio station on an artist or song you like and with each song they play you can rate whether you enjoy what they are playing or not so that gradually the station becomes your own little personalized vault of kickassedness.
So far my stations are:
Elvis Presley radio
Nina Simone radio
Modest Mouse radio
The Dodos radio
CAKE radio
Old 97's radio
Sean Hayes radio
Allison radio
Beck radio
Running to Stand Still radio
Waiting in Vain radio
Bob Dylan radio

and so far the ones really paying off have been Modest Mouse, Nina Simone, Bob, and Elvis.... but all of them are pretty good depending on what mood you're in.
So check it out, if you want. Makes for some seriously nice background music for homework, surfing, partying, sex, okay...I don't know why you'd want to use a computer ANYWHERE near where you'd be having sex or a party (nerd alert)
unless you were really hard up for some music, but there you have it. Pandora is an option, so make me proud and get in that box.
You know, I doubt ANYBODY really reads this thing anyway, so all this typing is probably beside the point, then again, some of the best work of literature, art, humanities and inventions in general in the course of history and mankind and the world,
have been done when the individual or group felt like they were on their own.
Random fact:Vincent Van Gogh didn't sell a single painting during the course of his career, shot himself in the chest when he was 37, and died two days later in a motel bed.
And now he IS art. Who doesn't know Starry Night? Or a sunflower?

With that said, here's the quote of the day from Tropic thunder:
"Man, I don't drop character til the DVD commentary."

Enjoy:

Tropic Thunder : Film Clip - You're My Brother - watch more funny videos

Another day working in the gallery, it took FOREVER to try to figure out the measurements to hang the work right, about... 2 hours?
So, here comes the real question:
How many art students does it take to solve a simple multiplication problem?
Answer:
None.
All four of them need help from 2 different calculators and to resolve it about 8 times approximately to get it right.
But eventually after racking our brains we were able to figure it out and come pretty darn close to seeing the secret of the universe before our heads turned into total mind goo.
Also, About A Boy is a great movie. Just watched it again tonight after about three years, and it was even better than I remembered it. The boy is my kind of gangsta fo' sho, but I can't find a clip to show what I mean. Instead I will just post this, because it's funny:

Squeezin' the lemon

A day of business this has been(*in best Yoda voice*), and...
hopefully successful business.
As for happy news, I paid all my debts I owed on copper for my printmaking class, I got to do a Pillsbury Doughboy belly poke to someone, AND I had a hybrid lemon today that tasted like an über tart orange, and t'was good.
Now who could ask for a better day? Seriously, it makes feel sorta like this guy:

Ideas for Photography class

Thought I'd attempt imitating a Cindy Sherman photograph on a whim. I was looking at her stuff and saw a sweater she was wearing was similar to one I had, so I thought, "eh, why not?"
So I fixed my hair(unsuccessfully I think but whatever), put a lamp in my shower, set up my tripod and timer, and WHaLah! I's gots me a picture....
I'd edit it more to fit exposures closer to the original, but alas, I lack the technology at hand.




<---not quite original





<---Original

Make-Believe and Bake Day

Out of the goodness of my heart(eh-heh...) I decided to show the wild things in my house a good time(fish exempt) and spend a large portion of the day outdoors. Parika the parrot got to hang out in her cage and pretend she was in the big leagues with an osprey that flew overhead, Gigi got to be all wet with the hose and roll in whatever loveliness is in my backyard, and I got a picture of my other dog Lulu that may provide more evidence that she is in fact, the Devil.

While I'm at it...

I think I should explain the rating system, as to some it may be cryptic.

Number One: The FANFREAKINTASTIC
This one's pretty self explanatory and almost as good as it gets, well, it could get better but we want to keep it real and family friendly...
Okay, that's a lie, and I really highly doubt I'll live to that reputation, but in the chance the maja ever decides to read this or some Sunday School acquaintance comes out of the wood works, I'll at least have some shred of "dignity".
Fuck it, now I want to change it.

On to Number Two: The SUH-WEET
as in," DUDE!!!!"
"NO, SUH-WEET!"


Now for Number Three: The FANNYPACK
What could have been amazing a few years ago and short of a cure-for-cancer awesome, now is just not so cool. Rather, it is best to keep under wraps away from the public and never shown again unless you are deep in the wilderness eating astronaut gel and carving your own weapons to hunt for goat meat.

Number Four: The BIRKENSTOCK WITH SOCKS
Impractical.
Never was cool.
Never will be cool.
We snicker behind your back.
For your own sake,
STOP.



















Number Five: The FOREHEAD VAGINA























Enough said.

Hope this clarifies, makes you feel like a new man or woman or both,
now off to enjoy SNL with Will Ferrell and Green Day...
Honestly could be the best part of my day/night.
Muahahahahaha.....

Agenda for Today

So essentially what I've done today is:
A.)Been a slacker
B.)Felt bad about being a slacker and took a shower(I washed my hair really well)
C.)Resumed being a slacker and avoided my scholarly duties by watching movies instead
D.)Created a blog to feel productive while watching one of the aforementioned movies, Employee of the Month, and it sucked.

So this is me. And this is typically what I do on a Saturday. Glad you tuned in? Well, keep on tuning in because I'm gonna try to make this a habit. Perhaps. Don't hold me to it.
And on a side note:
isn't this the best picture ever?
I'd expose myself to that art if you know what I'm sayin'...
*hee hee*
okay, until next time...